‘How can I start getting my children to help out at home?’
Many parent ask me this question. My answer is simple – “It depends!”
Achieving a behavioural change in children is dependent on their age and stage of development, their temperament and attitude, and how set in their ways they are.
Let’s look further at the above helping at home scenario. If the children are four years of age or younger then encouraging them to contribute to their family’s well-being is relatively easy. Most children want to help at home in the early years so it is a matter of parents providing opportunities for them to help and also showing them how they can assist in positive ways. Helping out and independence are habit-forming so the message for parents is start early and hang in there. Young children can help set and clear away meal areas, clear away their toys and help make their beds. Don’t get too fussed about the quality of their endeavours. They wear L-plates in the early years and the prime lesson for them is that they help their family and contribute to their own well-being.
Older children who may have done very little to help can be tough nuts to crack. How do you get a ten year old to help out if he or she has barely lifted a finger to assist in the previous decade? Basically, there are two methods parents can use to get some change in children when habits are entrenched. Either you try to achieve major change straight away or you work away at the margins to affect change.
A parent trying to promote independence in a child can go ‘cold turkey’ and insist that they get themselves up in the morning, make their own lunch, empty the dishwasher and do forth. This is a major change. Parents who take this approach frequently offer rewards such as pocket money or provision of special treats in exchange for help, however rewarders and bribers should be wary. Any parent offering rewards in exchange for help will need deep pockets as today’s jellybeans soon becomes an electronic toy or something equally expensive. Besides they are teaching children to think ‘what’s in this for ME, rather than WE.’ Such parents may be replacing one habit (dependence) with another (self-centredness). !!. I suggest that parental insistence that their children help backed up by sincere and genuine appreciation when they have done the right thing are strong motivators for most kids.
Alternatively, parents can work at the margins and get their children to help little by little. For instance, packing their own lunch may precede making it. Unpacking the cutlery may precede emptying the whole dishwasher. Cleaning ten toys away may precede cleaning the whole room if they have never done it before. Using this method the helping habits sneaks up on children and takes them by surprise.
Either approach is legitimate however sometimes when parents meet with resistance from children or change seems so overwhelming it is better to play around at the margins and go for small changes. We often use the same principle to put some order in our lives when everything seems chaotic. Sometimes just cleaning the clutter away in a bedroom or tidying a desk can help us feel in control and a little clearer when life seems totally disorganised.
Working away at the margins is a strategy many parents have used successfully when they want to get some behavioural change happening at home. Even if children seem totally out of control look for small areas where you achieve some change. Maybe start with them using better manners when they talk with you or insisting they sit at the meal table until everyone has finished. Often small successes bring monumental improvements. Positive change tends to have a snowball affect. Like a snowball rolling down a slope it gathers momentum and increases in size very rapidly.
So what is your usual change strategy? If you get overwhelmed and don’t know where to start then try starting small and working away at the margins. Start where you know you can experience some success and the change will accelerate.

Michael Grose is a popular parenting educator and parent coach. He is the director of Parent Coaching Australia, the author of six books for parents and a popular presenter who speaks to audiences in Australian Singapore and the USA. For free courses and resources to help you raise happy kids and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au

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Just the other day, I was talking to some other stay at home moms and asked if they were struggling with any difficulties. “Yes,” one piped up almost immediately, “discipline problems with my 6 year old smart mouth
know-it-all! I don’t want to spank, and don’t, but he seems to laugh at time out, privilage loss, etc. What do I do?”
Ahhh.. the joys of independence in children. I have found in working with
children that when negative consequences are imposed (loss of privilages, time
outs, etc.), they simply do not work. My advice and what I try to do is to
always let the child have a choice in the matter at hand. For example: Your six
year old (and any age for that matter) is not listening to you. You are asking
him/her to pick up their room. They are ignoring you and doing what they want to
do. Instead of saying “if you don’t listen there will be a consequence (time
out, loss of privilage, etc.) Try rephrasing and saying to your child, “Boys/or
girls that want to watch television later will have their room clean within the
next twenty minutes (or whatever time frame within reason for you). Make it a
positive statement instead of a negative one. You can also use any type of
reward, it doesn’t have to be t.v. privilages (a snack, time outside playing,
phone time, game time, etc.)
This technique also allows your child to make a decision in their own fate. If
they choose to listen to you and clean their room, then they watch television.
If they choose not to listen, then unfortunately they do not get to watch
television. Leave it simple. I know as a neat freak myself that to leave the
room messy for your child is HARD!! But simply say to your child, I am fine with
your decision not to clean your room, unfortunately, you also have made the
decision not to watch television also. The key here is to stay clam and positive
about the decision that they have made and walk away.
Of course you are bound to have tears and comments coming your way about not
letting the child watch television. Again, keep it simple, remind your child
that they did have a choice to clean their room and watch t.v. or to not clean
their room and not watch t.v. Remind them that you love them and are fine with
their choice. After a few times of making the wrong choice, children ultimately
will start making the better choice for them. The key to your success with this
is to stay calm and positive.
Remember to always stay clam, and positive, no matter how hard it is!

Tammi Kauppinen is a proud stay at home mom with five wonderful children. After graduating from the University of Wisconsin - Whitewater with a degree in Special Education, she decided to find a way to stay home and raise her children. That hasn’t kept her from working with kids! She has run an in-home day care for ten years, worked in variety of school districts with children with special needs, acted as a foster parent to teenage boys and as a respite provider for other foster children. She continues to work with children - including her own - on a daily basis and publishes a weekly email on stay at home mom tips. To sign up for this FREE service go to http://www.stayathomemominc.com

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Get into their world. The world that teens are growing up in is not the world in which we grew up. In case you ever doubt that, here is what author and speaker Josh McDowell has said on the subject: “The average teenage boy is exposed to more sexual stimulation on the way to school than his grandfather was on Saturday night when he was looking for it.” The next four suggestions are more specific ways to get into their world:
Listen to their music. When I begin to work with a teenager in my counseling office, one of the first things I have them do is bring in a couple of their favorite CDs and we listen to them. Other people in my office building wonder what the heck is going on but that is OK because it keeps me in touch with what is being pumped into their heads all day long. As a parent of a teen, you especially need to know what is going into their heads.
Watch what they watch. Not only do you need to watch the TV programs and movies your teen is watching, you also need to watch the commercials and other advertising aimed at kids. What is the message behind the commercial? Most are something like this: “You are a loser without this product, and you will be cool and popular with this product.” Our kids are being taught to be non-thinking consumers from day one. Why do you think they call it programming?
Walk the halls. Go to school one day. Take a walk through the halls between classes. I can just about guarantee you that you will be surprised by what you see if you have not yet taken this walk.
Screen time. Here is another example of how much has changed. When you and I were coming up, our parents had to practically drag us inside for dinner. Now parents almost have to force kids outside away from the screens. This is one of the biggest battles going on in many families today. It always amuses me when I talk with parents who complain about how much time their kid spends playing video games. I usually ask the parents if they have ever played the games with their kid. Parents usually look at me like I’m nuts. Not only do you need to know what is going into their heads, just like music and TV, you need to know just how addictive the experience can be. I have a secret suspicion that some parents don’t want to play because they do not want to get beat.
Teen Room Makeover. It seems like just about every night on TV something is being “made over,” from houses all the way to people! So I thought, why not have a Teen Room Makeover? Get together with your teen, clean everything out, do some painting, maybe some new furniture. You could find some magazines for ideas and examples. This accomplishes at least three things:
You get to clean up and rearrange what could be a disaster area.
If handled right, doing this with your teen can be a time of bonding and fun.
While you are cleaning and rearranging, you may find some things that you did not know about. If you do not find anything that is a problem, that’s great. If you do find something that is a problem, now you know about it and can then do something about it.
Vitamin NO. Every now and then, I work with a teen who needs a good dose of vitamin NO. Many parents have not figured out how to administer this vitamin and are either uncomfortable or afraid to do it. Once given the suggestion and “permission,” most parents can learn. You have to be prepared for the teen to not like it, and test you to see if you mean it. That is OK though, because a good healthy dose of vitamin NO can eventually cure a raging sense of entitlement.
Vitamin YES. At the same time, teens also need a healthy dose of vitamin YES. Once you have gotten clear on what to say no to, and strong enough to say it, then your yes can really mean something. I tell the teens with whom I work that parents do not stay up late at night trying to create new ways to say no and make your life miserable. Parents like to say yes - to good choices.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

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I have a bit of a different response than most therapists to the often asked question:
“How can all this teen violence be happening?”
My questions are:
“How could this not be happening”
and
“Why doesn’t it happen even more often?”
Here’s what I mean by these questions - although there are many more factors involved, just consider these three:
1) kids listen to increasingly violent music, see increasingly violent movies and TV shows, and play increasingly violent video games. All of these without any focus on the real life, long term consequences of violence.
2) kids have more and more easy access to weapons that can maim and kill
3) more and more kids get no moral education, and walk around with an underdeveloped conscious at best, and at worst, no conscious at all.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist or a psychologist to get it that these three ingredients alone are a prescription for disaster.
Warning signs
No one really knows exactly why one kid will snap and another one won’t. At the same time, here a few warning signs for parents and others to watch for:
a history and enjoyment of violent behavior
an inability to feel and/or show remorse
excessive fascination with violent video games and movies
easy access to weapons
little or no parental/adult supervision
little or no impulse control
recent rejections, disappointments or loss of hope
violent and/or suicidal thoughts, threats or other speech
the loss of someone close, either through death, a move, or a break up
a friend or someone they look up to taking a recent violent action
Again, it’s important to remember that kid A could have most or all of these signs and become violent, while kid B could have the same signs and not go off. The most important question to answer, I believe, is what can we do to prevent this kind of stuff in our kids.
Here are a few suggestions:
Know your kid’s world. I realize every parent thinks they know the world of their kid, but do you really? Do you know what kind of lyrics and music is going into their brains all day? Have you looked at the lyrics? Do you know what games they play, what movies they watch? Are you sure? The reason I am so adamant about this is I believe that if enough parents really knew what was going on out there, the stuff I hear every day, there would be some type of revolution.
In the words of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, “teach your children well.” Teach them:
when someone is beaten up or severely hurt, it takes a long time to heal, physically and emotionally
when someone is killed, they are gone, do not come back, and people grieve their loss
if you get hit like guys get hit on TV wrestling, you don’t get up, you go to the hospital
how to problem solve without violence
what to do with the anger and rage we all experience.
And last but not least, run, don’t walk, to your nearest bookstore and pick up a copy of Stephen Glenn’s book “Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World.” In it you will find the results of Glenn’s research into the problems of youth, the Significant Seven Factors that separate high risk kids from low risk kids and how to encourage them in your family.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

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As a step daughter and step grand daughter, I followed the examples that were set for me years before when I became a step parent. The way my stepson finally came to love and respect me as his step mother, was through all of the “trying” experiences we had. Excuse the pun, but raising kids is a very trying experience!
One of the first times my stepson “tried” or tested my word and consistency was over catching the school bus. Nick was not a morning person and that made getting up in time for school in the morning a problem. Myself having lunches to pack, and two other kids who were already responsible for getting themselves up, Nick knew that I expected him to do his thing in the morning. When he missed the bus the first time, I informed him that I would drive him to school that one time, and one time only!
Just a couple of weeks later on another early school morning, I could tell Nick was going to miss the bus if he didn’t move a lot faster and told him so. I left it at that, went about my business, and sure enough Nick came to me with a sorrowful look on his face saying that he had missed the bus. I said, “You had better get your rollerblades on then or you will be late for the start of school!” Nick was incredulous and asked if I was sure I could not take him to school, and I told him that he got his one and only ride the first time he missed the bus and he better get a move on.
His next excuse was that he was going to be all sweaty if he had to blade all the way to school (about 4 miles), and I told him to take an extra shirt. When next I saw him, he was sitting on the curb in front of our house lacing his skates up, shirt off, back pack at the ready and I watched him skate off down the road with a smile on my face.
He had just experienced the result of testing my consistency as a step parent and found that it was the same as my habit with my biological kids!
Whether they know it or not, all kids feel safe, special, and protected when rule is consistently applied.

Sandy Williams, Life Coach at International Stepfamily Foundation, member of Stepfamily Association of America & founder of
http://www.stepfamilysuccess.com

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Cramming Beware of anyone practicing cramming. This is an illegal activity practiced
by some long-distance carriers, who will bill you for additional services that you
never requested. If you have long-distance service, always check your statement
- if you find you have been crammed, contact the Federal Communications Commission
(FCC) immediately! Also see slamming.

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“I took care of Callie,” my three-year-old announced.
Callie had been starting with that little whine that babies
adopt to alert mothers and sisters that their new crawling
tricks have them wedged behind the furniture. But the whining
had stopped–rather suddenly it seems in retrospect.
“Thanks, Cassie. You are such a big help,” I said. “How
did you manage that?”
“I got her a beer.”
Sure enough, Callie was still wedged behind the table, but
now she was happily gumming the cold smooth side of a Newcastle.
Because I wanted to think that Cassie went for the beer in the fridge
because she imagined how good it would feel on her teething
sister’s sore gums–and not because she deems it some sort of
panacea–the whole thing got me laughing (after I took away
the beer, of course.) Then it got me thinking about which of
my friends would laugh about this story along with me. And
which would sort of disapprove.
I guess that groups my mommy friends into two camps: one camp
that can overhear me pleading with my kids, “Please don’t lick
the carpet,” and they don’t say a word (or better yet, they
laugh). And the other camp, which thinks that’s pretty gross.
For me, if a toddler gets out of a car, and she has a lollipop
stuck to her bottom, I know, instantly, that her mom is a friend.
And the opposite is true, too. If you’ve got any number of kids
under the age of four and your car doesn’t occasionally stink,
you probably make me a little nervous.
In all of our efforts to prove our own Supermom skills, let’s
remember that it’s sometimes rather endearing when we can’t.
To remember that may be to regain a lot of energy and a lot of time.

Susie Cortright is the founder of http://www.momscape.com - an online
magazine devoted to helping parents celebrate life with children.
She is also the creator of Momscape’s Scrapbooking Playground:
http://www.momscape.com/scrapbooking Visit her sites today to subscribe
to Susie’s free weekly newsletters and to learn more about her scrapbook
club and her work-at-home scrapbook business.

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Just the other day my oldest son asked:
“Daddy, am I old enough to call you Dad?”
Won’t be long now before he is asking for the car keys…….
Here are a few things I’m learning as well as some important things I’ve discovered so far about this thing called fathering.
1. You really have to give up the myth of quality time vs quantity time. By the time the average child is 7 years old, they have watched 20,000 commercials. Given that amount of influence, infrequent “quality time” just doesn’t cut it. It has to be quantity time that’s of high quality.
2. As a dad you have been influenced and effected by the generations of fathering that went on before you. By the same token, the fathering we do will not effect only the children in our home. The job we do as fathers, for better or worse, will effect generations to come.
3. Sue Shellenbarer, a columnist for The Wall Street Journal has coined the phrase the “tomorrow trap.” She describes the tomorrow trap as “living for the future, taking refuge in visions of a relaxed and rewarding personal and family life somewhere down the road…..a kind of mirage that people chase while in reality they are burying themselves in work and other pursuits.”
Ouch. Sounds familiar to me, how about you? As dads we have to remember that not only does “someday” never come, it’s not even on the calendar. Spend the savored time now, because today is here.
4. Some of us may not have had the best model for a dad in our own father, or perhaps no model at all. That’s sad and painful. What it is not is an excuse. It can be a springboard for change. Whatever has been handed down to us, we can decide to change in this generation. There is so much information available now on how to do this dad thing.
5. Just he other day a father asked me “how do I play with my little kids.” While it’s sad that the question has to be asked, the answer is really quite simple. Get down on the floor with them, and let them lead. You follow.
6. “Daddy’s home!” are two of the best words in the English language.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

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Every now and then I’ll get a story sent to me by e-mail that is a no-brainer idea for an article. One of those came across my desk just the other day. It’s called “I Wish I Had a Second Chance.”
Like many of these things, the author’s name was not included. If anyone knows who the author is, I’d love to know so I can give him or her credit and thanks.
Give it a read, and then let’s put some ‘hands and feet’ on how to use it in your own life.
My hands were busy through the day, I didn’t have much time to play the little games you asked me to. I didn’t have much time for you. I’d wash your clothes, I’d sew and cook. But when you brought your picture book and asked me to share your fun, I’d say A little later, son.
I’d tuck you in all safe at night and hear your prayers, turn out the light. Then tiptoe softly to the door. I wish I’d stayed a minute more. For life is short, the years rush past … a little boy grows up so fast. No longer is he at your side, his precious secrets to confide.
The picture books are put away, there are no longer games to play, no good night kiss, no prayers to hear … that all belongs to yesteryear. My hands once busy now are still. The days are long and hard to fill. I wish I could go back and do all the little things you asked me to.
If you’re like me, you are feeling a little misty. But instead of just getting misty, let’s use this to make things a little better.
Let’s take a little trip into the future. Let’s fast forward five, 10, 20 years from now, when your kids are no longer interested in asking you to do anything with them, much less play.
What does that regret feel like as you look back?
I never want to feel that way. So come back from the future with me, and let’s do something about it right now.
How to make the time
Every single one of us is the same in that we each get 24 hours and no more each day. My belief is that we can make the time for the important things if we know how. Here are three strategies to make the time:
1. What keeps you from spending time with your kids?
Whatever it is, I’d suggest evaluating it very carefully and severely. How can you change it? Can you move it around, reschedule it, do it less, give it to someone else to do, or just stop doing it altogether?
2. Date your kids
Set dates-with-Mommy or dates-with-Daddy times. These are one-on-one times to spend with each other. Protect these dates as you would an important business appointment. At least two good things can result:
=>The time is set and protected
=> your kid will feel very special.
Follow them when you play with them
Let them lead and set the agenda. This is going to feel awkward at first, because we are so used to pushing hard, setting agendas and getting things done. Just follow them. One of the many really cool side effects of this is that after you practice this for a while, it can be very relaxing.
One of the many things we can take with us from this story is best said by Patrick Boyle, editor of Youth Today:
The reality is that our to-do lists never end, while our kids’ childhoods do.

Visit ParentingYourTeenager.com for tips and tools for thriving during the teen years. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 5 day e-program on The Top 5 Things to Never Say to Your Teenager, from parenting coach and expert Jeff Herring.

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For first time parents choosing a swing set or outdoor play equipment can be a daunting task. There are so many different materials to choose from and prices can vary from around a hundred dollars up to a couple of thousand for a larger solid timber unit. Outdoor swing sets can be as simple as an individual swing right up to a swing, slide, ropes and bars along with sandpit, cubby or fort.
Before you make any firm decisions there are a couple of main considerations…
1. Consult with your Kids-
They will ultimately be using the equipment so it is important to purchase something that suits their needs, now and in the future.
2. Your Yard-
The size of your backyard may determine the type of playground equipment you choose. As well as the size of the unit itself, your play equipment needs safe a circulation area around it. For toddlers you may prefer a smaller swing set that can moved between indoor and outdoors.
3. Budget-
Outdoor play equipment and swing sets are an investment in your kids, they will potentially get many hours of enjoyment and play. There is a vast difference in price and durability for different materials, see below for pros and cons. Larger sets are generally built to last and often require delivery and installation, so you may need to factor this into your budget.
4. Materials and Durability-
Plastic- These sets are generally only suitable for toddlers, they are affordable and can often be swapped between indoors and outdoors.
Cedar and Redwood- the preferred choice for long lasting playground equipment. These two woods are low-maintenance because they naturally resist rot and insects, and don’t require sealing.
Pine- look for 100% chemical free lumber. Pine need to be treated annually to maintain its resistance to the elements.
Metal- if you are going with a simple steel swing set look for heavy duty galvanised steel with a lifetime guarantee against rust. Metal swings are hard wearing but not as visually appealing as their timber counterparts.
5. Hidden Extras-
Delivery and Installation- check if the set is delivered and installed by an installation crew or left at your doorstep for you to set up.
Warranty- does the company offer a lifetime warranty? Some outdoor sets (cedar and redwood) are a once only purchase, whereas others have a much shorter lifespan. If plastic units are left out in the elements they will deteriorate much faster than if they can be stored out of the sun and rain when not in use.
Inspection- you can do plenty of browsing online but may prefer to inspect the set first. By taking your kids to ‘try before you buy’ you will feel much more comfortable with your purchase.
For the complete version of this article go to Outdoor Play Equipment- Making an Informed Choice
Part II of our feature on swing sets and outdoor play equipment looks at playground safety, a very important consideration for parents. Playground accidents are one of the leading causes for injury to children, so selecting the equipment that is age appropriate is all important. Read on…

The place to go for all your games needs for 0-8 year olds is Kids Fun and Games. Educational baby and toddler games, party games, crafts, indoor and outdoor games, festivals and a new buyers guide for child toys and equipment.

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Each child carries a unique picture of the self, shaped in part by the influence of parents. Your child is not born with a self-image or self-assurance. Both traits are learned through experiences beginning from birth.
But who is the self-assured child? Simply put, it is the child who is confident of their self-worth, and their talents and abilities. A confident and outgoing child, who is not afraid to show the world all the unique ways in which he / she shines.
The process of making a self-assured child begins at birth. Children are born with clean slates and do not implicitly know and understand their self-worth. The seeds of self-assurance and self-esteem, therefore, must be carefully sown by the adult figures in a child’s life.
Let’s take a look at 3 ½ year old Jennifer:
Jennifer attends pre-school. As part of the year-end wrap up, Mom and Dad meet with Jen’s pre-school teacher, Mrs. Hamilton.
Mrs. Hamilton tells Jen’s parents that she has noted that Jennifer is always seeking feedback on her accomplishments. “When Jennifer finishes a drawing,” notes Mrs. Hamilton, “she is undoubtedly never sure if it is good, and, therefore, fails to exhibit any happiness. Instead, she asks her teachers for re-assurance that the drawing is beautiful and has made them happy.”
Jennifer’s parents have noted similar behavior at home and during play dates with other children. “Jennifer has tremendous difficulty making selections from colors of crayons to food,” states Jennifer’s mother. “If I ask her what she’d like for dinner, she always asks ‘What are my choices?’ and I begin to narrow the selections for her. Sometimes, I even make the decision for her. No matter what I choose – even if it’s her favorite meal – Jennifer’s never happy and always demands to know why she has to eat that.” Mrs. Hamilton tells Jennifer’s parents that she too has noted that Jennifer will talk back to a teacher or adult in charge, demanding an explanation for having to follow direction. “No matter how many times we try to talk to her,” notes Jennifer’s father, “she doesn’t seem to have an awareness of her behaviors.”
The following suggestions may help you raise self-assured children:
• Praise your child: Applause the effort, not just the outcome. Start early and give genuine compliments freely and honestly.
• Observe your child’s schoolwork and other activities: Offer your child constructive feedback on their work, this will allow your child to have a safe and realistic view of themselves
• Frame social interactions: Give your child the boundaries with which to speak and respond appropriately to others
• Outline choices: Allow your child to choose from a limited amount of choices. Providing too many will overwhelm the child and may cause frustration and confusion
• Lead: Always keep a watchful eye and take charge when necessary
Keep In Mind: The process of building self-esteem needs to begin at birth but it’s never too late to implement positive behaviors.
The recipe for success in raising a self-assured child is simple; connect with your child through positive interactions and communications, and offer unconditional love and support.
You will forever have an impact upon the manner in which your child interacts and feels about themselves. Reach for assistance from a professional if you have any questions.

Dr. Charles Sophy currently serves as Medical Director for the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS), which is responsible for the health, safety and welfare of nearly 40,000 foster children. He also has a private psychiatry practice in Beverly Hills, California. Dr. Sophy has lectured extensively and is an Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the University of California Los Angeles Neuro-Psychiatric Institute. His lectures and teachings are consistently ranked as among the best by those in attendance.
Dr. Charles Sophy, author of the “Keep ‘Em Off My Couch” blog, provides real simple answers for solving life’s biggest problems. He specializes in improving the mental health of children. To contact Dr. Sophy, visit his blog at http://drsophy.com

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